The Dimpled Monster Has Struck!

Recently I went on holiday with my mum and children to Spain which you can read about here. It was a great time with 3 generations of our family together and loving each others company.

However, just before I went I fished around in the swimming box that I have at home. This box, stashed on top of the boys wardrobe is where I have my various one piece practical ‘mum’ swimming costumes for when I’m at the pool for their regular swimming lessons each week. This time though I was searching around for my bikini.

I thought I’d give it a quick try on just to make sure that it wasn’t moth eaten or missing a hook an eye here or there. I got it on ok and thought I’d check it out in front of the long mirror in my bedroom. Well…. I was, mortified, heartbroken, fuming, slightly surprised to see that I had not only gained weight but had also gained cellulite and just looked ‘different’.

It was an eye opener to say the least. Over the years we change – children, life events, careers, the misery diet, the happiness spread, sadness, age and health all change us both inside and out. I’m now at a different stage in my life and have to embrace my age and my new body shape. Below is a lighthearted poem loosely based on that moment last week. It’s sentiment for me is humour, life and love.

The Dimpled Monster Has Struck!

It’s been tucked up for months

Proving, doubling in size

Stuffed in jeans

Gobbling down the pies.

———-

It’s been dark, it’s been grey

No one asked it out to play.

So what do you expect

As you stand there in shock

The changing room door

Clearly on ‘lock’.

———-

Did you not know

This bubbling mound

Would be the result

On your waist, all around.

———-

It’s a spell, it’s a curse

Please help! Bring me a nurse!

This bikini has shrunk, surely or worse!

No, wait…..I see it now, I’m so sorry

I must of got it wrong

I needn’t of worried.

———

 I have to sort this today

This holiday won’t keep

I know what to say

So I call out, not to weep

“Please be a dear and bring me a sarong,

hurry up now as I don’t have too long.”

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42 thoughts on “The Dimpled Monster Has Struck!”

  1. I feel your pain! I am so with you on this!! Even now, my figure in my head is never the one that greets me in the changing rooms! Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought x

  2. Brilliant poem, had me smiling in knowing understanding of the dimpled monster! Sure you’ll look fab on your holidays
    #Prose4T

  4. I have a mighty podge that I am proud of. i have cultivated this podge over many years/cakes! #kcacols

  5. This made me smile, having never lost the dimples or baby weight in the past 10 years I am at peace with my dimples lol the belly is another thing 😮 #prose4t

    1. 🙂 I’m becoming fully acquainted with both now:) thanks Tracey, always nice to hear your comments X

  6. I LOVED this! It really tickled me, and I love how you have created this fictional monster! The last two lines were brilliant! And I totally relate….currently trying to shift the baby weight for hols and every time I look in the mirror I see this strange thing round my middle that wasn’t there before. Think I’ll need the sarong solution too! x #Prose4T

    1. Thanks for your feedback Michelle and taking the time to comment xx

  7. I have been genetically blessed and have not gotten that dimpled monster, but as for a bikini body, well that seems to have disappeared!!! Sadly too much chocolate and not enough getting fit! Loved your poem, thanks for linking up #mg

  8. Ah man I know how this feels! Unfortunately I did not have a “Mum” swimsuit for baby swim class, I wasn’t prepared, I only had my black bikini from two summers prior and had to wear this to swim class only 3 months after the birth. I was shocked and scared about what was before me in the mirror! I immediately bought an appropriate swim suit that day lol. Oh how our bodies change after birth! I’ve come to accept this as a good thing now, because my body wouldn’t look this way if I hadn’t had my son so I am happy that it is this way (see the reverse psychology I do on myself). Thanks for sharing with #StayClassy!

    1. Oh yes I love it and I agree, I’m ’embracing’ (I cant even spell it let alone mean it:) my new body and ‘welcoming’ the changes…. Love your comments and thanks for taking the time to read. Mainy x

  9. OH NO!!! The worst! Begone, Dimpled Monster! I enjoyed the poem, made me laugh so much! Yes, you can never go wrong with a sarong. I tend to COVER everything up now. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

  10. This is exactly the reason why I didn’t try on bathing get suits at the store today but of course told myself it’s because I still have a month before going to the beach. It is amazing how much our body changes. #KCACOLS

  11. They say we’re our own worst critic-and it’s so true for me too!
    Just think about the reason for all of those dimples, and loose skin (: Usually, I look at mine in shock as well-but sometimes, I find a glimmer of appreciation for my saggy buns and stretch marks. They’re the only inclination that my son and I were once one, and not two <3 #KCACOLS

  12. I love the poem – so clever! You have a real flair with words!
    I bet you still look lovely and it is great that you are embracing it 🙂
    Having babies certainly changes us doesn’t it?! But it is so important to remember how amazing it is for all it has been through and what it has achieved. A lovely post. X

    1. And you have a lovely way with words Rebecca, as your comment has made me smile and feel good….thank you, Mainy xx

  13. Fab poem and it did make me laugh. I don’t think that there is a woman on the planet who is truly happy with her body, we are all of us so critical and yet really we should be praising ourselves for growing a baby and realising how amazing our bodies actually are! I am so hard on myself, particularly at this time of year, but I’m slowly learning to care a little less! #mg

    1. Yes you’re right, we’ve put our bodies through the ultimate in physical endurance by being mums and I’m hugely proud of that. I’m pretty OK with myself and there are so many other things to think about but it was a shock to see how my body had changed. It was an omg moment!:) thanks so much for your comment, mainy xx

  14. Fantastic poem. We all go through changes within ourselves and our bodies. It can be quite a shock when we look at ourselves for the first time in a while though.

    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

    Azaria- Being Mrs Lynch

    1. Yes it can and it’s another thing that we have to get our heads around, and generally do. It’s about embracing the change:) xx It’s also good to have a lighthearted view on it all x

  15. The dimpled monster has visited our house too and I know I really should care and sometimes I really do but most of the time I’m just too busy being me… mum, wife, teacher, daughter, friend etc and having fun to really worry. I feel love, I am loved, I give love and I am happy with who I am… But perhaps I could be more healthy! #bigpinklink

    1. Good for you, thats such a positive outlook to have and extremely healthy!:) Thank you x

  16. This is something I am sure we can all identify with. Summer is so unforgiving and particularly as you get older too I have found, as everything fashionable is just too short and anything long is just plain frumpy. Have been bemoaning my summer wardrobe only this morning. #bigpinklink

  17. Oh that rotten dimpled monster. I totally understand. I don’t even want to know where my bathing suit is…

  18. So funny! My dimpled monster only appears while on holiday aboard and when no cameras are present! Sadly, my genetics are against me 🙁

  19. It does seem to get harder as we get older to lose weight but also to lose cellulite. I am having the same issue and I’m a pretty active person but I don’t eat the best that I should. Glad to see you are taking it in stride though and are determined to have fun anyway! Popping over from #mg

  21. I have also recently been struck by this monster, those wobbly bits do creep up on you don’t they.
    Oh well, sarongs and long shorts it is 😉
    #KCACOLS

    1. I’m probably going to give it one go of blowing my months wages then not bother again;) x

    1. Thank you Sarah:) yes this was the first time that it really struck me and I now have to accept its part of who I am.

  24. eeeek I hate that moment when you try on your summer wardrobe and then shocked that all the pies and cake and chocolate and wine hasn’t slimmed your thighs or belly – and then starts the diet of salad and water but by the time we are a little bit happier with our shape winter hatstand the body is hidden again! All very frustrating! very entertaining post #KCACOLS

    1. Thank you!:) yes it’s so frustrating that all the rubbish I ate during winter (and Autumn & Spring) actually turned to fat! I’m not impressed! I’m going to embrace it though as the thought of anything else makes me shudder!;) thanks for commenting X

  26. Mine stays firmly in shapewear! Though I have lost half a stone on slimming world so maybe there is hope for me yet…? #KCACOLS

  27. Haha – love it! I’ve decided to stay covered & hidden at all times, as if I can’t see the dimple monster, it can’t see me! #KCACOLS

  28. I’m feeling your pain. I had lost my baby weight although my body was not the same, and then became a stay at home mom and put on like 15-20. I enjoyed putting it on, but now… not as enjoyable.

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