The Best Beginners Guide to Making Mum Friends

The Best Beginners Guide to making mum friends

We’ve all felt like the odd one out when starting a new school right? Well starting school or nursery when you are the parent can be just as daunting, if not worse! Fears and self-doubt can creep in and old leftover experiences of when we were younger can all surface again.

As a parent, waving the little ones off …well peeling them off you as was sometimes the case when mine were little is one milestone to get over. The next is standing there having waved them off and then walking home or back to the car-park alone.That feeling is the pits and I think, totally unnecessary! Now is the time to get in with or make your own Mum Tribe, it will make the next few years so much easier!

Here is the best beginners guide to making mum friends:

• Smile Smile Smile, it can take the place of a thousand words and can be a huge pick me up for whoever is on the receiving end.

• Make something happen! Arrange a coffee morning as a way to get to know people. Odds on you aren’t the only one feeling the same way. Arranging a time and place to meet takes the headache out of it for other people. We are all so busy that having to hang around and umm and ahhh over where to go often leads to absolutely nothing, nada. If you take the initiative and arrange something, even if only one person can make it then that’s fine, it’s one person you will always have to laugh with about that first get together.

• As with the point above, you have to make things happen. So, if someone asks you to go along to an event that they have planned then try your hardest to go. You might feel tired, not of washed your hair or don’t fancy meeting over the other side of town. The thing is making the effort and then feeling the benefit afterwards. You can even have a look at my post 5 tips to help the school run go smoother which should help in getting there on time and without being too stressed!

• If you have to go past other mums who are all gaggled together like they’ve known each other for years, take a deep breath, walk over and say hi. You’ll get a feel for them pretty quickly and you have the most legit get out of jail card by saying that you can’t stop as you have to dash off to work – doctors-friends etc. But what you would have done is broken the ice, said your name and made the first move.

I mean, what’s the worst that can happen!!

• Volunteer to help out at the school or nursery and before you go all shivery and think ‘No Friggin Way’… do it, even if it’s just the once. Think about it, you probably always have to talk to the teacher right? – So that’s one person who you know and can chat to. It’s your way in. If you volunteer for just one cake, book, uniform or whatever the heck sale it is then you will have people coming to you to talk and it’s ready-made intros.

The Best Beginners Guide to Making Mum Friends

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It might seem a little daunting or hard work at first. Over time, just like when we were at school or starting out at work or uni, it falls into place and we settle with friends that we click with. Being in your new mum tribe is just one more path of being a fully fledged grown up. Enjoy the riches that these women can bring to your life.

What tips have you got? What were your first experiences of making your new mum friends.

 

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83 thoughts on “The Best Beginners Guide to Making Mum Friends”

  1. I’ll have all this when we move, as both the boys will change to a new school in a different area . . . I also have a resting bitch face until I smile, so I go all out & ‘cheese’ at everyone lol – great article though!

  2. Your suggestion to volunteer is one I used myself & can definitely recommend. I asked the teacher if there was something I could do. She told me that 1 day per week, girls in my daughter’s class would go to Brownies, and asked if I could help by taking 3 girls, whose mums didn’t have cars, in my car from the school to the hall where Brownies met. I ended up volunteering to be a helper at Brownies as well, as they were oversubscribed but could take another 6 girls if they had one more adult. It meant I met and made friends not only with parents of girls in my daughter’s class, but those of Brownies who went to other schools. It also widened my daughter’s group of friends beyond school.

    1. Wow you really helped out and made friends too. Well done to you, thank you so much for sharing your experience, Mainy

  3. It might seem awkward at first but smiling and saying hello makes it easier as everyone is in the same boat. As your kids get friendly with children helps too

  5. I’m trying to find my place and meet people at the moment but at home education groups. A lot of the tips are still relevant though, thank you

    1. Oh good, glad you found them useful. I don’t have experience of home ed groups. Maybe you’d like to guest post about it for my readers?

  6. Thanks for the great advice, although I am naturally a very shy person and find it very difficult to make the first approach to people I don’t know.

  7. This is great advice, sometimes I feel too shy though and then you feel that the moment has gone lol.

  12. such a good read, I wish I,d read it when my children were small and starting school, it would be so nice if others read this who needs it definitely could help them a lot

  13. Use all your acting, fakery& lets pretend skillss at this moment and smile till your face hurts.
    Show no fear and no weakness, these people can make or break the next 5yrs of you and your babys life – make em fall in love with you, make them want to beyour friend.
    Bit like when you told yourself you were okay after giving birth and kept on pretending till it was okak now make like they are all your best friends. Good Luck xx

  14. Great informative post with some good tips which could also prove useful when starting a new job!

  20. great tips , another good way is to get your child to invite a friend back for tea or to play for a while as you get to know the mums via your child this way too

  23. Especially important to identify parents who live close by so you can network and share walking to school if one isn’t feeling too great.

    1. It can be a harder experience the older we get. Luckily most of us feel the same way, thanks for taking the time to read and comment x

  31. I found it very daunting I managed to make friends now !Y kids are at school I find it easier to make other mummy friends because the kids make friends we start talking about the kids nothing worse than feeling out of place

  32. My kids are all grown up now but I am still friends with some of the mum’s from school!

  37. It’s amazing how a smiley face will help in most situations
    Lifelong friends are made at school
    Great read thanks

  39. good advice although whe ny children were at nursery school I was always quite fussy with mum friends and I stood back and observed first before getting involved with events or get togethers. I find there are different types of mums and I fitted very much into a particular type -I didnt have the perfect home where toys were neatly put away as soon as they were played with . I am nota bake on Mondays and iron on Tuesdays type of girl and I like friends I make to be of the same ilk!!! so I stood back and when I noticed a me type of girl who has got marmalade down her front or forgot to brush her hair or whose child has insisted on coming to nursery school dressed in her own 4 year eclectic choice of clothes , carrying a dandelion for the teacher then I do make an effort to get to know them . I have made some lifelong friends who are this type!

    1. I love this approach, really refreshing! You’ve got it sussed and it sounds just right x

  41. Great post as i need some mum friends as I’m about to have my first baby

  42. A great post – becoming a mum can be lonely, especially in the early days. From being in a working environment with adult company to being at home with a tiny baby is a huge shock to the system!

  43. These are great tips. I’ve really learnt to just bite the bullet and try to make friends with everyone since becoming a Mum. I would always rather be the friendly, smiley Mum not the quiet one who doesn’t make an effort to talk to others. We are setting an example for our kids too! xx

  44. The first step is definitely the hardest. I still hate walking into a room where I don’t know anybody #TacticalTuesdays

  45. I think the idea of making something happen is really important. We all lead such busy lives and sometimes you just have to be the one who chases it up and books that play-date. Brilliant tips. Thanks for linking up to #TacticalTuesdays – see you next week xxx

  49. This is great for parent’s who’s kids are starting school and I wish I’d read this years ago. Thankfully it did get better. Thanks for sharing through xx #mainylovessummer

  50. I wish there was a post like this when my son started school, I had no mum friends at all. Thankfully it did get better lol. These are great tips, thanks Mainy x
    #MainyLovesSummer

  51. I am really shy but there are some mums that I talk to every day on the playground, others I have never even spoken to after 3 years 🙁 my daughter is about to start school so I will have a new set to try to be brave with! #mainylovessummer

  52. Great tips! And it’s true – you have to stop making excuses and do go along to things! The GIFs made me laugh! 🙂 #mainylovessummer

    1. Thanks I’ve watched the football fist bumps one so many times while writing the post as it makes me laugh every time ?

  53. I so agree with taking the initiative. It’s best just to dive right in and organise something! All these mums are people you’re going to see everyday for the next 7 or 8 years so it’s definitely worthwhile trying to form friendships! #MainyLovesSummer

  55. I’ve made so many new friends since Isla started school. It can be daunting but it also very rewarding. I organised the end of year teacher presents which was a great way to get to know all the other parents from her class, and now we have a little WhatsApp group and are arranging meet ups over the Summer. #mainylovessummer

  56. Ahh! It is so scary being the new mum in the school yard….I am nearing the end of school life. My girl is going into the last year of Primary school in September and these tips are spot on. I met my 3 best friends through one of the coffee mornings the school ran and even more through joining and helping with the PTA. Be brave and smile lots. #mainylovessummer

  57. This is great! I know was in one of these shoe last year… kind of still is… I moved town, know no one. Had to make new friends through my boy’s class mum. I am pretty good friends with a few now because I’d made the first move. Bamm! I got you friend. We can help each other out with the kids. 🙂

    Thank you for hosting. #mainylovessummer

  58. This is a great post! We moved to a new city/school last year, and I can relate to all of this! I planned a mom night at my home just before the winter holidays in the hopes that I would meet other moms and it was such a great success I did another one in the late spring! #mainylovessummer

    1. Well done, makes a whole lot of difference and what a great get together to hold:)

  62. I was so overwhelmed with having to meet new people when my 3 started kinder and then school. But I think you are right, most people are feeling the same way deep down and even those who look confident are often just as worried about their children and also meeting new mum friends. What worked for me was being myself, I think when we are open and genuine things go better. I am so blessed to have many amazing new friends through my children starting school, some of them I now consider my best friends xx #mainylovessummer

    1. I agree, the friends we meet at this stage share so much with us that they can be life long:)

  63. This is a great read. I won’t be in this exact situation as my two will be home educated, but at the park I have a similar experience when I see other mums all chatting. Luckily a lot of the time in that situation the kids can be the biggest ice breaker as you can casually say something about their kids – how cute they are, or love what they’re wearing type thing. I’m not one for introducing myself otherwise! #mainylovessummer

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