Is it just me?

is it just me

Do you ever wonder if the bizarre, naughty or plain un-mummy things you think of are just you….I do!

Well here’s my confession….I don’t enjoy the responsibility all of the time.

 

1st disclaimer – if you’ve ever pursed your lips and tutted at someone who’s being un-mummyish then please don’t read on…. I need to have this vent.

I mean, I look at a lot of people and they seem to ‘cope’. Not only cope but even seem to enjoy being around their children all the time and doing mum stuff. One of the reasons I came off Facebook was because I couldn’t bear being mummy shamed by people looking relaxed and joyfully baking with their lovely little darlings, not just highdays and holidays, but regular as clockwork. Also making things and posting photos that show smiling clean children who look like they actually appreciate the perfectly turned out mum or dad next to them.

Here are a few of my sins:

I clock watch for when it’s time the kids have to go to bed. I also get a little excited as I look forward to it. My eyes flit from the bottle of wine, to the snack cupboard to my iPad, all gently purring my name in a frequency no one else in the house can hear.

I would rather not read a children’s story book all the way through at bedtime, I’m tired at 8 myself! The afore mentioned chorus of goodies downstairs is deafening to my ears by this point. I want my children to read well and I want to celebrate with them…just earlier in the evening please.

I’d like to spend more time and money on grown up stuff like make-up and clothes. Instead I blow it on boys toys, classes and kids ‘stuff’. I spend time on my things, I just need to balance it out a bit more.

I don’t particularly enjoy having their friends round, only because I find it stressful. Their friends are great – it’s me! What if they get hurt, fall out with each other or hear me swear under my breath as I stub my toe and then they repeat on a loop, steadily driving me into anxiety overload. Or worse, after having a successful couple of hours, burst into tears as soon as their parents arrive. It happens! I don’t know why, but it’s a kids phenomenon, they do it to torment adults.

Sometimes I just don’t get it – I don’t understand the rules of parenting, I forget that children are immature, yeah doh! I find myself standing in the middle of a room trying to reason with two boys who just want to tease, argue, play and do their own thing without mature interruption.

Finally, I’d like to be strong enough to actually follow through, just once, with whatever I’ve threatened to take away ‘by the time I count to three!’ Even my eldest at 10 started saying that I don’t ever do it, he’s 12 now and nothing has changed. So I’m inconsistent now and freak out at the small stuff.

2nd Disclaimer: Of course I love my kids! Of course I wouldn’t change a bloomin thing and of course my kids are my world. They fill me to bursting point with love and make me boil over with a loyalty to protect them.

But this parenting lark can be bloomin hard and sometimes I need to let off steam! Away from the kids, into my own little space. Sometimes it’s good to shout from the rooftops or into blogging world that it’s tough – without having to apologise or justify…..at least not too much;)

Do you ever feel the same or is it all plain sailing for you?

When I flip the other way I start worrying about the future and when they go out into the big wide world, I call it pre-empty nest syndrome. Hormones clearly play a big role in parenting for me and the huge job demands big feelings.

Click to share pleaseClick To Tweet

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Updated October 2018

 

Share4
Tweet
Pin7
WhatsApp
Buffer11
Share

44 thoughts on “Is it just me?”

  2. Haha! So very true – anyone who says they don’t clock watch till bedtime is LYING! Definitely decirbing normal parenthood here. Though I never want to spend money on myself any more I think is theonly exception… except for wine…always rather spend spare money on wine 😉 Thanks for sharing something so honest. There are lots of mummies out there that need to hear this! #KCACOLS

  3. I think it’s okay to want to be alone or to clock watch, as you say. It is so so so hard being a parent. We shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting alone time. You are brave for writing this all down and sharing it. I’ve been thinking the same thing recently and wanted to write a post but it’s difficult sharing with those perfect Mums you mention on FB. Sometimes having a child (well for me, a baby) is monotonous, I have the same routine every day and have to stick to it otherwise there is a massive meltdown. But what about me? Do I really enjoy doing the same thing every single day? Eeek. Hell no. Thanks for being honest and sharing with #StayClassyMama!

    1. Thanks for such a supportive comment and for sharing your own views, it’s been so great hearing from everyone and people having their own off load:) x

  4. The thing is, people tend to just post their highlights on Facebook don’t they! I don’t think any parent loves every single moment of being a parent, we all have our moments (days/weeks) when it’s just hard and stressful and we just want it to be bedtime so we can have a glass of wine! x #KCACOLS

  5. Ah yes, I couldn’t agree more. I look at people’s images on facebook and I know that they are staged and false. You should reassure yourself that they are. I work nearly full time and my confession is that I could never be a stay at home mum. It is the chance to be an adult at work that makes me a better mum when I am with Cygnet. I just couldn’t hack it all of the time and I applaud anyone who does manage it.

    thanks for your post. Pen x #KCACOLS

    1. Thanks for your comments Pen, I understand the need be at work and I’m glad I have that bolt hole too x

  6. I can definitely relate to this! Just today I started crying in the can because I was so tired of trying to calm my little one down while he through a tantrum for a 30 minute car ride. All the responsibility can be so overwhelming. Especially when you’ve had a rough day, week, or month. I am also guilty of not always reading a book the whole way through because I just want it to be bedtime already. This summer we have had to extend bedtime to a later time since the sun stays out longer. He refuses to go to bed when it’s still light outside lol. #KCACOLS

    1. Oh I can relate to you aswell! the summertime sun can mean such late nights adding to all the other things we go through. Good to have an offload though, thank you so much for sharing:) mainy x

  8. No, it is most definitely NOT just you, haha. I only have one-and he definitely keeps me running around all day long. It’s hard to be at someone else’s literal beck-and-call all day and all night long. It can get exhausting, and it most definitely doesn’t make you a bad mother. My son LOVES this farm book we have. Like obsessed with it. But, only if I’m reading it lol. Over, and over, and over. I just need an hour’s break from the damn thing, so I hid it, haha 😛 We all have our sins! Thanks for sharing #KCACOLS

    1. Lol that’s funny, you’re right, I’m sure we’ve all got similar stories:) thanks for commenting X

  10. I have only been a mum for 6 months but wow it’s tough! I’m also tired by 8pm but after bedtime I make myself have some me time for my blog. It’s my thing to relax and recharge! Great post xx
    #KCACOLS

  11. I only have one and I find it tough. Your entire life changes and you’re ruled by a mini me 24/7 it’s hard. I it’s really really hard. I’m not a pinterest parent. In fact I tell my daughter to use her tshirt to wipe her tomato pasta stained hands. Life is tough with kids and I clock watch too! I think we all do no matter how much we love our kids #KCACOLS

  12. So true! I think its perfectly normal to want a little time away from the little ones! A refreshing honest post! #KCACOLS

  13. feel EXACTLY the same here most days too 🙂 going to share this with a friend on FB as she continually feels like the world is coping and she isn’t. I try telling her that she is not alone!! especially resonate with having other kids over. it stresses me too :/ #KCACOLS

    1. Hi, I think it’s good for all of us to know that on those days which are tough – we are not alone. Yep, feel free to share:) Thanks for your comments x

  14. You are not alone! Though I have been known to pretend to be that ‘perfect parent’ on occasion- sorry! It never lasts long, it’s too damn hard work! 😉 #KCACOLS

    1. omg don’t worry, I am guilty of that one too! I do get it, we struggle and then when there is a bright moment – snap -lets get it immortalised in print:) xx

  15. Oh I totally agree. I used to get quite stressed out by seeing the perfect lives on social media but once I started to accept that they don’t REALLY exist, I felt better. Kids are hard and bedtime is my favourite time of the day = so shoot me! #KCACOLS

  16. Right there with you! And I’ve come to the conclusion that…we’re only human, and those people on Facebook with the perfect pictures? They just don’t admit to the bad days and wine consumption! At least we know who we are ha ha 🙂
    #KCACOLS

  17. It’s not just you! I see mums on Facebook taking endless photos of beach ‘art’ and bun baking and think I’m so inadequate… I love my kids but sometimes I need a break from them 🙂

    #StayClassyMama

  18. It is not just you! My kids are 11 and 18 and I still have days (or weeks) where I feel like that. I have stopped trying to compare myself to the impossibly high standards some seem to set. I reason that they have something missing from their lives that is why they put so much effort in, while I have everything I need with my little family 🙂

    2. Aahh that’s beautiful Ali, my family is everything to me too, all the love and frustrations that it brings is fine. It’s lovely to have a good old fashioned whinge aswell;) x

  19. Shock! You’ve let Voldemort out of the bag! That which cannot be named! You’ve been brave enough say you’re a normal mum! And thank you for sharing because I’m sure there are lots of people who needed to hear that. #KCACOLS

  20. I agree. Sometimes you just get a bit fed up with all the kid stuff, especially if you’ve been around them all day. I enjoy reading to my kids but sometimes the story they choose is just too long or my middle one asks millions of questions and talks all the way through it and drives me crazy! I’m pretty sure the clean children in Facebook are dressed especially for the picture or it’s edited. No one who’s kids are actually truly enjoying themselves can keep them clean for long! Enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing. #kcacols

  21. My whole parenting journey is like a rollercoaster of going from this to total ‘mummy mum’ and back around again to ‘how long until bedtime?!’…..parenting is hard work right?! I have had days where the only person I’ve spoken to is my 18 month old and sometimes the never ending routine of looking after a child can be so monotonous. It really isn’t just you at all. This is why i blog!! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

  22. It’s not just you!! I do all of these things, and a whole list of others that I could never confess! I think anyone who paints a picture of being the perfect mum is lying, to others and to themselves. We are none of us perfect, there isn’t a parent out there who hasn’t counted down to bedtime that’s for sure! #KCACOLS

  23. I’m only 6 months in but parenting is tough! I love my days with my baby but he’s still relatively easy. I imagine I’ll feel the same when he’s older! Great post! #kcacols

    1. Yeah, it’s all tough, wonderful and a whole mixture of emotions:) thanks for commenting and congratulations on being a new mummy X

  24. Could not have expressed this better myself. It’s hard but it’s so worth it, most days 😉 it always nice to find out you are not alone in the world with certain things. Thanks for sharing!

  25. OMG! I don’t even think any of those things are things to feel bad about. The over-sainthood of motherhood does my head in. Now I’m sure I was one of those mums but seriously, is there anything more dull than women who cr%p on about parenting? Ugh! No prizes except for the child. No one else cares. Of course, I’m a long way out of that, so I am listening to people telling me ‘you have to understand the teenage brain’ and I think ‘well who is understanding the tired middle aged woman’s brain that’s into her second decade of dealing with other people’s crap?’. So talk to me about movies, books, art, nature, travel, politics – ANYTHING except kids and school blah….There’s a whole world out there and we used to focus on it. Now we just navel gaze & celebrate about what women in the world have done for centuries without fanfare. #KCACOLS (PS Love kids, it’s the mums that need a reality check – not my peeps, tho, weeded out those clowns years ago 😉

    1. Tho I do have to say I like story time. But I like those books. Thomas Keneally said you should read to kids well into their teenage years (until about 16). My teens would not come to the party on this at all….Guess they aren’t fans the intellectual thoughts of the man behind Schindler’s Ark. (see, I’ve probably already just bored you with my thoughts on child rearing…;)

    2. Great comments, thanks so much for taking the time and thought to feedback your views which I’m totally onboard with!:) Mainy X

  26. I wholeheartedly 100% agree with you on everything . I always wonder at people who say they love bedtime and reading to their kids – I hate it ! They don’t listen anyway and im tired and fed up by then . Thanks for sharing ! #stayclassy

    1. Thank you!:) it took a while to push publish for this one. Thanks for the positive comments X

Comments are closed.