Thanks very much to Tracey for joining in this week of guest posts here. Tracey was one of the first people I really got to know when I started blogging and she has always been supportive and encouraging to those bloggers around her. Tracey is a single mum to 10 year old Olivia. She says she is permanently on the go, always confused and never without coffee! Over to Tracey now for a bit more about herself and her guest post.
Hi, One Frazzled Mum is my outlet to get the words out of my head that keep me up late at night whilst allowing me to indulge in my passion of writing my own short pieces of fiction.
Why I Like My Daughter To Feel Uncomfortable
These days it’s very rare I watch adverts on TV. Very rare. Mostly thanks to an ever so slight addiction to Greys Anatomy hence I am getting my money’s worth on my box set subscription with Sky. There are hardly any adverts on the box sets. So if I do end up having to watch them it is because of Olivia. The Disney Channel and Greys Anatomy are pretty much the only things to grace our screens so far this year, so you could be forgiven for thinking the only ones I have seen are all baby and toy-related. But actually, they aren’t.
As we were sat in my bedroom, watching Disney Channel of course, before bed. I looked up from my laptop and Olivia was looking undoubtedly uncomfortable. I could hear what was on TV and I watched her shift in her position perched on the end of my bed with a felt tip in her mouth and colouring in page in front of her. She wanted to watch but I could see her squirming ever slightly. Eventually, her eyes found their way back down to what was in front of her.
It wasn’t the first time this had happened. I had seen it before many a time and I welcomed it. Yes, I know how awful that sounds. I welcomed my child feeling and acting uncomfortable. Do I derive pleasure in this? Is it a form of punishment and I force her to do it on a regular basis? Yes and No. No I don’t force her nor is it punishment, but sometimes yes. I like to see her feel a little uncomfortable at times. Watching her, and from my perspective at least, being exposed to things she may never encounter in her lifetime personally.
What on earth did she see you are thinking? A charity advert. You know the type. Where the narrator tells you of the story of the young child on screen who walks all day to fetch water for their family bare foot and the water isn’t clean. Designed with the shock factor at the forefront to grab your attention and want to help. To make you feel something, anything about what you have just watched and be compelled to do something about it. 30 seconds is all they have to reach you. So it’s a short sharp tug at your conscience (and heart strings) in the hope you will donate to their cause.
For some adults, the general consensus is that this way of fundraising has lost the aforementioned shock factor and maybe you think so too, but to a 10-year-old? A 10 year old who lives worlds away from the poverty endured by the children in these plights, the shock factor is well, it’s pretty shocking and hits right in it’s intended spot.
And I welcome it. Is it wrong for her live in complete oblivion to what is happening in the world around us? Should I leave her, living in a first world country as she is, to be protected from the harsh realities of the outside world and be left to live happily in ignorance thinking it’s not her life so it’s not really her problem? Is that the type of daughter I want to raise in today’s world? No, it’s not. Yes, the images are a little disturbing. The topics slightly uncomfortable for some. But does that mean we brush it under the carpet and shy away from it.
Because in my experience ignorance breeds ignorance and by sheltering our children from the world around them it gives them an unrealistic view of how others live their life. Sure I have limits, I mean I’m not going to start letting her watch Crimewatch or regularly tune into the crime and investigation channel. But how do we expect our children to learn about other countries. About other ways of life if they have no experience of it? No knowledge, no frame of reference. Even if all they know comes from just a TV advert.
How do I know sitting at my laptop on this day in 2017. That that TV advert didn’t just have some fundamental effect on her. One which could change the way she thinks about the world good or bad? Could it be the catalyst to propel her away from wanting a future lived in front of a video camera to one of a more caring selfless nature? Because if she is unaware of the issues faced by many people every single day of their lives, how can she fully explore the world around her.
So as her mum I welcome this advert and those like them. In an age where children are molly coddled and protected from anything and everything more than ever before, I do welcome this. The more they make her think and feel. Act and react to what she sees around her the better in my opinion. For there is a big wide world out there and she is part of its future.
Huge thanks to Tracey for writing this piece especially for this series – be sure to leave her some lovely comments and check out her social media sites below:
Twitter: @frazzledmumblog
Facebook: one frazzled mum
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This is so true. I really want my son to realise how fortunate he is. I try to explain but at 3 years old I don’t want to scare him or take his childhood away. The one he is fortunate enough to have in such bliss. I’m teaching him about recycling and conserving water. I’ve explained about people that don’t have toys or homes. Some people say to me I tell him too much for his age but he’s so compassionate and thoughtful I’m just nurturing what he finds instinctual.
I sponsor a child with Action Aid and every few months we get a letter from them and a newsletter. My daughter and I have had many a discussion about this child in Africa and what her living conditions are like and how they are different from ours and Bethany has taken the letters into school to tell her friends about it too.
#KCACOLS
I agree with you, my daughter has asked about these adverts too and we have talked about how they are designed to be emotional while talking about the truth of it too. This is how we began to sponsor a child in India through Worldvision and that has been great to keep the conversation going. As a child I saw the stark differences between my life and the life some kids in India when we went there on holiday when I was 10. It definitely shaped my experiences of the world and my outlook. Thanks for linking up to #KCACOLS
This is really interesting! They need gentle exposure to what the world is really like even at a young age, to have empathy for other children, appreciate what they have but also to realise the world is not a perfect place #KCACOLS
I couldn’t agree more. They are the future and how could they make future a better place if they don’t know what the current world is like. #Globalblogging
Sadly we can’t protect them from the world out there. (even though we wish we could) I think allowing our children to see a somewhat “safe” explanation of what / how others live, is a great idea. It allows them to feel empathy which many kids nowadays don’t. Great read #globalblogging
really fabulous post! So true, and I totally agree. I notice a difference in my children though. Aspen really feels the need to make a difference and saves her own money to donate, but April tends to only get moved if it is something close to home. Adam I think is still pretty naive, but he is only just 7. Grat post #mg
I’d love to be able to protect my little girl’s innocence for as long as possible, but I agree that as they grow up, they have to learn little by little that the world is far from perfect. Little B is still only 2 though, so I plan to shelter her from it for a little while yet! #kcacols
Oh, I totally agree. I would never have dreamt of exposing her to this younger but at 10 I think it’s perfect age to start slowly learning about what happens in other parts other world now x
I totally agree with this. The big wide world out there is big so the earlier they comprehend it’s not just them the better. We just have to equip them with knowledge and compassion to deal with it all. Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky
Thank you Karen, I want her to learn about the world around her and see there is more to life than what she experiences personally x
It’s tempting to try & shield them from the realities of life for as long as possible but I do think you’re right…. #familyfunlinky
it’s really easy to not want them to experience the not so good things isn’t it! But I think she is now old enough to learn about them!
I think this is a really healthy thing. I think children need to be aware of things outside of their ‘zone’ even if it is hard or uncomfortable. When my daughter is old enough to see these things, I hope that seeing and talking about them will help her to be more compassionate. Really really good post. #KCACOLS
Yes exactly, Thank you for commenting x
I love this! Children are so incredibly impressionable, so if there is an opportunity to help remind them 1. how lucky they are, 2. what kind of citizens they should be or 3. behaviors they should not engage in, we should take advantage! My only caveat: images of horror. I’m talking about news footage of people bloodied and dying. I am all about making kids squirm for the greater good, but not if it robs them of their innocence prematurely. #globalblogging
Oh I absolutely agree. She doesn’t watch the news or anything too distressing, she is a sensitive soul but I’m all for doing exactly what you think too. It’s good to open their eyes but not too much. They have the rest of their lives for that don’t they!
Yup- we are entering this stage of reality as well as our oldest is almost ten.
Such a fun time isn’t it!
I feel exactly the same. I think they should be exposed to certain degree of what is going on in the world, age appropriate. My daughter is only 4 (nearly 5) and while I believe in ‘let them be little’ she she will see adverts and parts of the news and ask questions. I’ll try to answer them honestly. I don’t want to frighten her but like you say ignorance breeds ignorance and if we shelter them too much they’ll be in for a shock when they grow up!
#KCACOLS
Exactly. She hasn’t watched anything too bad yet, but these adverts can really be food for thought at that age and at 10 she is more aware of how the world is now.
Interesting post and the bit about ignorance breeds ignorance? Spot on. Food for thought for sure #MG
Thank you, I think by knowing about the world she can form a better opinion on it than being in the dark x
I absolutely agree with you. At aged 10 a child needs to start learning about the good and bad in the world around them. We can’t wrap them in cotton wool forever. Thanks for your post. Pen x. #mg
Thanks Pen, I think she needs to know about the world we live in and not be protected from it.
We really do need to let our children be exposed to the harsh realities of life. For one it might push them to do some good in the world and two, it brings home the fact about how fortunate they are. Sometimes while we’re out we have beggars come by asking for food or money and I can see the kids squirming but if it makes them think and empathise, so much the better. #mg
I totally agree. I think we can shield them too much and seeing things like this are good for them. I would like to think it will help her have more compassion for others in the future. Thank you for you comment x